"At the late night double feature picture show"

I watch far fewer films than most of my friends. Movies have always felt like an experience best shared with at least one other person. There's something special about coming together, bonding over food and drinks and art, and discussing what you both saw afterward. So when it comes down to the choice of watching a movie alone, or doing something else alone (like reading a book or playing a video game)... something else usually wins out, for me. Watching alone just isn't the same as watching with someone else.

But we live in hard times. If everyone's collectively busy lives aren't keeping us apart, then the pandemic is. So every once in awhile, I convince myself to "take myself on a date" and appreciate the beauty of a movie by myself. This past weekend, that's exactly what I did.

By Friday, I was exhausted (I can't ever quite seem to get enough sleep?), but I spontaneously decided to swing by my local Redbox on my way to pick up takeout. I told myself it was time I jumped on the bandwagon and saw Wonder Woman 1984. Before I finished checking out, I pulled up my email to see if I had any deals. Turns out I had a code for a BOGO, so I tacked on Disney and Pixar's Soul for good measure.

I made it through half of WW84 on Friday night before passing out on my couch. Oops.

So Saturday ended up being my impromptu solo film festival instead!

WW84... was not as good as the first film, but it wasn't bad. The first part felt very campy (which I believe was an intentional homage to the '80s)... but there were also some campy moments throughout that were clearly not intentional. Watching Barbara (Kristen Wiig) transform over the course of the movie was interesting (to a point; her becoming a furry at the end felt like kind of an overstep). I'm still not sure I fully understand how Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) came back (did Diana ever wish on the Dreamstone...?), but I'm willing to let that go. Wonder Woman's fancy gold armor was a bit much, and the resolution came together a little too conveniently/easily (people are selfish... you really expect me to believe they all saw the light and renounced their wishes?) - but in spite of all my criticism and questions, it was an enjoyable watch. My favorite scene was when Diana let Steve go and grappled with that loss all over again. The realness of that grief was well-executed. The cameo at the end from Lynda Carter (the original Wonder Woman) was a nice touch as well.

Soul was simultaneously exactly what I expected, and not at all what I expected. I loved the music connection, and I have to assume that it is difficult to animate fingers playing on a piano. I also think the premise is very real - performing music professionally is a dream of a lot of musicians... but I don't think it's necessarily all that it's cracked up to be. In the "Great Before," I found the Jerrys to be really strange (not sure I liked that design decision, but I get it). I also didn't always appreciate the digs against Terry, the accountant. (Hey! Be nice to accountants!) But the rest of the story and the relationship between Joe and 22 was well done and thoughtful. I laughed, I cried, and the movie was surprising and expanded my worldview a little (all the best movies do!). I have to admit that I didn't like the ending, though. Giving Joe a second chance at life stole away the hard-won emotional impact of the film; I understand why this was done (first and foremost, Soul is a movie for children, after all)... but I wish they'd let Joe go into the "Great Beyond" and rest in the value of guiding another soul along its journey. Sometimes you should go gentle into that good night.

Both of these movies share an important central theme: Be careful what you wish for. All the wishes in WW84 came with a price. (Did Barbara really want to be a Cheetah? Please tell me no. Gross.) In Soul, Joe spent his entire life longing to land a gig and be a jazz performer. Once he finally got what he wanted... he realized nothing changed. He'd built his dream up to be so big that once it finally happened, it was disappointing. What he'd envisioned wasn't as fulfilling as he'd thought it would be.

So often, we do the same thing. If only I had a better job. If only I had a house. If only I had a husband. If only I had more money. If only my health was better. If I could just get this one thing worked out in my life... then I'd be happy. Then I'd be satisfied. Then this void would be filled and I'd be able to rest.

The truth is, solving one problem only ever opens up room for another to come in and take its place. No matter what we have, there is always something more that we want. Sometimes there's an obvious direct trade-off (perhaps I make more money at my job, but at the cost of working more overtime and having less free time). Sometimes the trade-off is not what we expect (my health is better... but it's because I got laid off and am less stressed now).

And sometimes, it's hard for us to see the trade-off at all. Every time I wish for something to "fix" my current longing, whatever that may be, it comes at the cost of stealing my peace and contentment in the present. If only I had a husband becomes I can't be happy right now because I don't have this thing.

It's good to have goals and dreams, but we have to be careful not to let them take over our lives. I can be just as happy right now without a husband (and most of the time, I am!). I would still like to have one someday, but I can use this time to invest in my family and friends and relationship with God. The things I want are not greater than the blessings I already have. Stopping to smell the roses is an intentional act... and so is watching movies alone. I should probably make a point to do both more often.

-J